It’s been a busy week here at Tui Place – we put up a hammock on the balcony !! About time too since it’s been on the todo list for a couple of years at least. The hammock is one of those iconic images that comes to mind when thinking about the tropics – lazy days swinging in the breeze, beer in one hand, willy in the other, or maybe a book or cigarette. The hammock has the ability to instil instant relaxation and calmness – within an hour of putting it up I was asking Titi what day of the week it was, and I hadn’t actually laid in the thing yet. It also seems to inspire creativity – I had a stunning new business idea whilst looking at it, and had new insights into the Grand Unified Theory Of Everything – something about vibrating hammocks strung between palm trees in 10 dimensional space, a Nobel Prize winner for sure. And I made up a new word: Crowdsponging. It’s when a large group of people badger a very wealthy person to give them money for doing nothing. A bit like being Cyprus or Greece really.

To compensate for the installation of this item of luxurious laziness we (Titi and I) have embarked on an early morning circuit training regime. On three mornings this week we have been up at 5am and commenced our exercises at 5:30am – I need minimum 30 minutes warm-up with a strong coffee, three Benson and Hedges and two trips to the bathroom. The idea was to be finished before the kids awoke, but so far they have detected our movements within seconds of us starting and proceeded to shout and plead with us to come back inside with an endless stream of make-believe excuses: “My diapers on fire”, “Keira’s eating gecko’s”, “Hoi !! Bo-bo-bo !!” (Keira). Being true professional athletes and heartless parents we continued without remorse – running up and down steps, powerwalking around the compound, jumping, stretching and skipping (yes!!), and then a gentle 10 minute walk to warm down for a total workout of 40-45 minutes. The kids eventually got a lizard-free breakfast and had their charred diapers changed at 6:30am. Tomorrow we may send them outside instead and shout encouragement from the comfort of the hammock.

So, life is currently poised at and inbetween these two extremities of the exertion continuum – silently swinging with a heartrate of 4bpm at one end, and a heartrate of 225bpm with a mild coronary at the other. With buttocks feeling infinitely firmer, hamstrings stretched and supple, we steadily strive to that peak physical condition required for serious hammock use – I mean, really – you don’t want to look like a slob, do you ?

Cheers,

Jonny

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